Who is Brittany Melton?

Who is Brittany Melton?

The specimen in question, she is spotted leaving her apartment every few days. Many ask (well many may be a slight over exaggeration) who this IS Brittany Melton? And I am here to tell you…

She is a dancer who was never professionally trained.

She love her plants more than anything else.

She drinks wine while cooking in order to feel like Amy Adams in Julie and Julia.

She enjoys travel, but can hardly afford it.

She loves laying in bed and binge watching the Office.

She is a forever student, she is almost twenty three and still studying.

She is unfit, hasn’t workout in years.

She owns every Frank Sinatra album on vinyl.

Her bedroom aesthetic is her top priority.

She carefully watches the weird mole on her right foot.

She has a killer sense of humour, in the sense that it could probably kill, she is quite mean.

She is a real every woman, striving to be that relatable, quirky voice you read on your lunch break.

She enjoys writing in the third person, a true qween, because Brittany Melton is me, hi.

14 Things Students Don’t Know About Their TAs

…a TA, otherwise known as a teacher’s assistant, an educator’s assistant, or that person who is paid to get treated like shit.

Well as a student, you may feel like you are able to get away with just about everything, but you’d be surprised just the amount that your TA knows, as told by a TA herself. Ranked most obvious to least obvious.


  • We can tell you changed the margin spacing on your paper.
  • …or oversized your periods.
  • …or your incorrect use of APA or MLA (or *insert student name* style citations)
  • We OBVIOUSLY can see your 2.5 spacing instead of 2. WE HAVE EYES.
  • Your “interpretation” that is clearly a quotation and should be cited. (ahhh, low-key plagiarism, always nice)
  • What you are looking at in seminar. (If you are laughing at your crotch, 10 chances to 1 you are one your phone)
  • When you spell your TA’s name wrong, forget their name or what they look like all together.
  • When they ask you to be quiet in lecture and you keep talking.
  • …or that you take to your phone/laptop to complain about us. (don’t get me wrong, a better alternative, but it makes you a shitty person)
  • If you never do the readings. The only people you are dumb enough to fool are your fellow classmates.
  • When you ask for questions from the exam…???
  • That your TAs don’t know each other, and that when you complain about one TA it won’t get back to the other.
  • That we don’t have code names for you all. (i.e. Clicker girl)
  • That we drink copious amounts of alcohol to deal with your shit.

They say being a TA is a rewarding experience, and it is. Aside from all the emails from students who never talked in seminar but feel they deserve a better grade, or the late submissions with no excuses and the back talk from the ones who don’t think you do enough… ya… it’s great.

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B.

21 Things I Learned at 21

  1. Have a friend that can be your support system, your editor and your bodyguard all in one.
  2. Take a leap of faith on things you are unsure about. Sometimes amazing things will happen because you put yourself out there.
  3. Bubble baths should be a weekly thing.
  4. Cheap masks from the drugstore should not.
  5. Do what YOU want to do. Life isn’t all about living up to others expectations for you. (aka. if you want to go to grad school, go)
  6. Try and eat green once in a while. And no, green apple candies do not count.
  7. If it isn’t right in your life, don’t fear quitting. I quit my retail job and I am still surviving.
  8. Being a teacher’s assistant is an annoyingly rewarding experience. In that the students are annoying, but when they actually learn something you are rewarded.
  9. Save towards something that is important to you. Whether it be travel, your OSAP payments or a house, it is a great feeling to see something come out of your hard work.
  10. I mailed myself a list of things I would do better for myself while in grad school. I have effectively accomplished none of the things.
  11. Set realistic goals.
  12. Knowing if there is an elevator in an apartment should be important when debating moving.
  13. Being lazy probably makes me the most efficient person, because I will find the quickest way to do things.
  14. Graduation isn’t as exciting as it seems. Enjoy your time in university, it’ll be over before you know it.
  15. Listen to more Adele, she is good for the soul.
  16. But also try and let loose every once in a while. Dance parties are a healthy hobby.
  17. Take chances. Get that piercing, dye your hair.
  18. Keep up with old friends.
  19. Stop cutting your own hair, we are all old enough to get a $20 cut from first choice.
  20. Retail is not a forever job for me. I hated the crazy expectations stores have for employees. Especially  when they only give you minimum wage and minimum hours.
  21. Go all out for your birthday. Your only young once. We all love a good scavenger hunt.

So unfortunately I am not forever 21. And although this post is a bit of a mess, it is the culmination of the things I have learned over the past year.

What I am Thankful For.

What I am Thankful For.

If you are Canadian, then Thanksgiving is coming up for you this weekend. If you are American, you can sit patiently and wait for November. And if you are from anywhere else you probably don’t give a shit about Thanksgiving and think we are all gluttonous, shopaholics.

And I know when it actually comes to me this thanksgiving I will probably give some sugar sweet answer to my grandmother like “my education” or “my family”, but I figured I would keep it real for y’all and give you the things I am truly thankful for this thanksgiving.

  1. Dry Shampoo.
  2. Coffee.
  3. Waiting three weeks to do my laundry so I can do it for free when I go home.
  4. Public Wi-fi.
  5. Friends who comment on my Instagram pictures.
  6. That one friend who takes great photos of you.
  7. Taking “me days” and not going to school.
  8. Getting more wine than you paid for.
  9. Big scarves.
  10. Spanx.
  11. Friends repeats.
  12. That I probably won’t be trampled to death on Black Friday.
  13. When the weather is cold enough to justify not leaving the house.
  14. Elevators to the third floor.
  15. Wearing leggings as pants.
  16. Candles scented like the outdoors.
  17. Classes that get cancelled.
  18. Classes that get cancelled and don’t have a make up day.
  19. That my birthday is in November.

I guess I am also thankful for the obvious things… family, friends, health, education.

thanksgiving

Brittany’s Rules to Live By

I was feeling pretty inspirational when I wrote this blog post. As if this would be the most innovative and actually helpful blog post I will probably ever write. Over the years I have collected many wisdomous pieces of information from family and friends and decided to compile them in one pro-tip blog post.


  1. Never  cut your own bangs.

  2. If you want something from someone, ask for something bigger first.
  3. Make your bed every morning and reap that sense of accomplishment for the rest of the  day.
  4. If you don’t want to do something, do it badly the first time. It worked for cutting the grass at home!
  5. Adulting is best tackled through the buddy system, so grab your bestie and cry about things like credit scores and taxes together.
  6. Never crack eggs directly into the other ingredients whilst cooking.
  7. Food is *statistically better with sauce on it.                                                                       *And by statistically I mean “In my opinion”
  8. Moderation is key. Except with ice cream, more is always better.
  9. If all other advice follow “fish”- Fuck It, Shit Happens.

 

This Hot, Hot Heat

This Hot, Hot Heat

Let me set the scene: it it summer, today the temperature is 32, feels like 36. But it doesn’t feel like 36, it feels like I am on the surface of the sun and 5 seconds of being outside I have visible sweat on my face. My tiny air conditioner is running its little heart away trying to keep this girl from dying. Obviously I exaggerate a bit, but it is extremely hot. And unfortunately if you are someone around me you’ll be lucky enough to hear me complain about the weather from one extreme to the other as if I don’t expect it each year over.


 

At first the heat is welcomed to usher away the cold and allow us to do fun things like the beach and tan.

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Getting sand in your trousers gets old quick and so does the heat, because unfortunately “the heat” isn’t a legitimate reason to not go to work.

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So life carries despite your dread for the sun and sweat.

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You never thought it could get hotter, and then a heat wave hits and you want to move North. (I never thought I would say that)

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The forecast says rain so you assume it will cool down, but no! The rain boils and creates hell on Earth the following day.

 

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Bad-hair days begin to just be “hair days” as the heat continues.

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You begin to wish it was winter again. Or at least fall. But unfortunately, it’s only July and you are out of patience and SPF.

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You can find me huddled inside, between my fan and my A/C unit patiently waiting for overcast and leggings to come back.

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The Stages of Getting a Haircut

Over the course of my life, I feel as though I have made very few large decisions. However, when it came to cutting 5 1/2 inches off, the decision happened so quickly I barely remember the process. Even though it would seem I regret my decision to cut my hair, I actually really love it and am happy that I decided to chop it off. However, the process was a real roller coaster that I feel others could relate to so I thought I would share it with y’all today.


 

First, you see your hair inspiration.

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Then, you get excited and fall into a Pinterest hole of equally cute hairstyles.

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Get super excited, you want the haircut so bad you could cut your hair yourself! (but you don’t.)

audrey

You sleep on the idea, hoping that sleep will make you forget about the idea all together.

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But you wake up just as excited as you were the night before.

christina

Adrenaline rushing, you make the appointment, as soon as they have time of course.

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Sitting outside the salon in your car, you debate over whether you are prepared to cut off what you have worked so hard for.
debate

The next thing you know you are in the chair and the hairdresser is working away.

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She shows you the job she has done, it is too late now.

shock

And it is a little shorter than you’d hoped…

sadcut

But hair grows back right?

walkingdead

You stare at your new do’. Your already large head looks to be ballooning with this haircut.

tomhanks

You head home, calculating how long it will take to grow back the 5 inches you had snipped. (too long)

chole

You finally come to enjoy your new hair style when you find a new style you want, and the process starts all over again.

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