I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream…

I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream…

…for ice cream (unless you are dairy free). It is summer, and in the summer many of us like enjoy the occasional cone. And after a few too many trips to the parlour I have realized how predictable flavour choices are to the people who buy them.

A 100%* accurate list of ice cream flavours and the type of person who buys each.

*in my opinion

Bubble Gum/ Cotton Candy: any child, or any adult who doesn’t mind blue teeth.

 

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Image Credit: Whipped Up Whimsy

Maple Pecan: any old person (aka my dad, my grandma). I don’t understand what part of this ice cream they like so much… the artificial maple or the soggy nut-chunks?

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Be Whole. Be You.

Moose Tracks: a Canadian classic. the type of person I want to be around (also my favourite).

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Noteable.ca

Cookies and Cream: You know what you like and stick to it.

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Healthy Food For Living.

Cookie Dough: an ice cream connoisseur, willing to take risks, as no cookie dough ice cream is alike.

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Blendtec

Strawberry, Vanilla, Chocolate: the ol’ faithful, indecisive fall back. When in doubt, go plain.

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Listal

Rocky Road/ Heavenly Hash: you are a little nuts, but you have a soft side.

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popsugar.com

Tiger Tail: I am a lover of all ice creams. That being said, I don’t consider this disgrace an ice cream. So tiger tail is to me what Trump is to the world.

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Celebration Generation

Soft Serve: boo, boring. This person either has no teeth or is extremely uninteresting. Exhibit A:

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smosh.com

Gelato: oh you are cultured aren’t you.

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Netflix

What type of ice cream do you like?

A Letter to My 17-Year Old Self.

A Letter to My 17-Year Old Self.

At the age of 17 I moved out, went to university and experienced the largest change in my life yet. Now I am 22. And I feel like I have 5 years worth of experience to reflect on.


 

Dear Brittany,

For starters, Moving out makes you scared and unsure. You are going to university as the next step in your life because you don’t really know what you want to do. And that is okay.

However, you may not like what you thought you did, and you may learn that you did things for the entirely wrong reasons. (Like picking a program because even though you did poorly in it in high school, you really enjoyed it.)

Things aren’t as easy as they are in high school. Your life isn’t mapped out for you and motivation is a process you need to learn.

You will be able to meet lots of people and make many new friends. They won’t all be a good fit, but compared to the small town you are from, it is a lot easier to move around the people you don’t get along with.

OH and money, it may seem like the scholarships are ever flowing, but they are not. So perhaps try and save a bit of money while you are at it. Loans add up, and you don’t want to be the sorry sack of shit (me) that didn’t save a dime for/in school.

Also, parties come and go, you won’t be forgotten because you missed a party and decided to stay in. Nor should you feel left out or regret it. You need to take time to yourself and relax, but also get work done. It won’t do itself and if you are deciding between doing an assignment or going out to the pub, you may be better off at home.

Don’t rush things, your time at school is short and it will fly by, don’t constantly wish yourself to be past this stage of your life because eventually you will find that you wished those years away. University is safe and you should enjoy each step as you are experiencing them. (Live in the moment??)

Overall, despite the unease, you will make your way through school and all you need to do is take a leap of faith and trust that even if your life doesn’t go where you thought it would, you will find your way.

Experiences make you strong, so have no regrets.

-Brittany

Summer School: A Story of Survival

Summer School: A Story of Survival

So you made the decision to take classes through the summer, you figured it would be a great use of time until:

  1. All of your friends are enjoying their summer and you are in a classroom.
  2. Not to mention there is no AC at the school in the summer.
  3. And the classes are accelerated, so you are just trying to make it to the end.
  4. No one wants to be there, so you are all bitter together.
  5. You run out of money, because you are trying to “focus on your school work”.
  6. You spend the dog days inside writing term papers.
  7. You want to do fun things, but deadlines and meetings ruin any chance of that.
  8. You are sad that none of your friends are around on campus, but then turn into Dwight Schrute when the school is all of a sudden busy.tenor.gif
  9. During the school year, you can console yourself with the thought that everyone is in school, then April hits and you tell yourself “at least the high school kids are still in school”. But then July hits and you and your fellow summer school mates are an island. Just hoping someone sees your flares.halp2theremix
  10. For months you tell yourself you will get it all done in the summer..but you don’t.
  11. TBA

Who is Brittany Melton?

Who is Brittany Melton?

The specimen in question, she is spotted leaving her apartment every few days. Many ask (well many may be a slight over exaggeration) who this IS Brittany Melton? And I am here to tell you…

She is a dancer who was never professionally trained.

She love her plants more than anything else.

She drinks wine while cooking in order to feel like Amy Adams in Julie and Julia.

She enjoys travel, but can hardly afford it.

She loves laying in bed and binge watching the Office.

She is a forever student, she is almost twenty three and still studying.

She is unfit, hasn’t workout in years.

She owns every Frank Sinatra album on vinyl.

Her bedroom aesthetic is her top priority.

She carefully watches the weird mole on her right foot.

She has a killer sense of humour, in the sense that it could probably kill, she is quite mean.

She is a real every woman, striving to be that relatable, quirky voice you read on your lunch break.

She enjoys writing in the third person, a true qween, because Brittany Melton is me, hi.

14 Things Students Don’t Know About Their TAs

…a TA, otherwise known as a teacher’s assistant, an educator’s assistant, or that person who is paid to get treated like shit.

Well as a student, you may feel like you are able to get away with just about everything, but you’d be surprised just the amount that your TA knows, as told by a TA herself. Ranked most obvious to least obvious.


  • We can tell you changed the margin spacing on your paper.
  • …or oversized your periods.
  • …or your incorrect use of APA or MLA (or *insert student name* style citations)
  • We OBVIOUSLY can see your 2.5 spacing instead of 2. WE HAVE EYES.
  • Your “interpretation” that is clearly a quotation and should be cited. (ahhh, low-key plagiarism, always nice)
  • What you are looking at in seminar. (If you are laughing at your crotch, 10 chances to 1 you are one your phone)
  • When you spell your TA’s name wrong, forget their name or what they look like all together.
  • When they ask you to be quiet in lecture and you keep talking.
  • …or that you take to your phone/laptop to complain about us. (don’t get me wrong, a better alternative, but it makes you a shitty person)
  • If you never do the readings. The only people you are dumb enough to fool are your fellow classmates.
  • When you ask for questions from the exam…???
  • That your TAs don’t know each other, and that when you complain about one TA it won’t get back to the other.
  • That we don’t have code names for you all. (i.e. Clicker girl)
  • That we drink copious amounts of alcohol to deal with your shit.

They say being a TA is a rewarding experience, and it is. Aside from all the emails from students who never talked in seminar but feel they deserve a better grade, or the late submissions with no excuses and the back talk from the ones who don’t think you do enough… ya… it’s great.

fireelmo

B.

21 Things I Learned at 21

  1. Have a friend that can be your support system, your editor and your bodyguard all in one.
  2. Take a leap of faith on things you are unsure about. Sometimes amazing things will happen because you put yourself out there.
  3. Bubble baths should be a weekly thing.
  4. Cheap masks from the drugstore should not.
  5. Do what YOU want to do. Life isn’t all about living up to others expectations for you. (aka. if you want to go to grad school, go)
  6. Try and eat green once in a while. And no, green apple candies do not count.
  7. If it isn’t right in your life, don’t fear quitting. I quit my retail job and I am still surviving.
  8. Being a teacher’s assistant is an annoyingly rewarding experience. In that the students are annoying, but when they actually learn something you are rewarded.
  9. Save towards something that is important to you. Whether it be travel, your OSAP payments or a house, it is a great feeling to see something come out of your hard work.
  10. I mailed myself a list of things I would do better for myself while in grad school. I have effectively accomplished none of the things.
  11. Set realistic goals.
  12. Knowing if there is an elevator in an apartment should be important when debating moving.
  13. Being lazy probably makes me the most efficient person, because I will find the quickest way to do things.
  14. Graduation isn’t as exciting as it seems. Enjoy your time in university, it’ll be over before you know it.
  15. Listen to more Adele, she is good for the soul.
  16. But also try and let loose every once in a while. Dance parties are a healthy hobby.
  17. Take chances. Get that piercing, dye your hair.
  18. Keep up with old friends.
  19. Stop cutting your own hair, we are all old enough to get a $20 cut from first choice.
  20. Retail is not a forever job for me. I hated the crazy expectations stores have for employees. Especially  when they only give you minimum wage and minimum hours.
  21. Go all out for your birthday. Your only young once. We all love a good scavenger hunt.

So unfortunately I am not forever 21. And although this post is a bit of a mess, it is the culmination of the things I have learned over the past year.

What I am Thankful For.

What I am Thankful For.

If you are Canadian, then Thanksgiving is coming up for you this weekend. If you are American, you can sit patiently and wait for November. And if you are from anywhere else you probably don’t give a shit about Thanksgiving and think we are all gluttonous, shopaholics.

And I know when it actually comes to me this thanksgiving I will probably give some sugar sweet answer to my grandmother like “my education” or “my family”, but I figured I would keep it real for y’all and give you the things I am truly thankful for this thanksgiving.

  1. Dry Shampoo.
  2. Coffee.
  3. Waiting three weeks to do my laundry so I can do it for free when I go home.
  4. Public Wi-fi.
  5. Friends who comment on my Instagram pictures.
  6. That one friend who takes great photos of you.
  7. Taking “me days” and not going to school.
  8. Getting more wine than you paid for.
  9. Big scarves.
  10. Spanx.
  11. Friends repeats.
  12. That I probably won’t be trampled to death on Black Friday.
  13. When the weather is cold enough to justify not leaving the house.
  14. Elevators to the third floor.
  15. Wearing leggings as pants.
  16. Candles scented like the outdoors.
  17. Classes that get cancelled.
  18. Classes that get cancelled and don’t have a make up day.
  19. That my birthday is in November.

I guess I am also thankful for the obvious things… family, friends, health, education.

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