How To: Find A Job

rachel


So recently I have been on the hunt for a summer job. Over the course of a week my spirits have gone from: must get an amazing job with great discounts; to: must find anyone willing to hire me. Yeah it has been a great experience for many reasons: lowered self esteem, stress headaches, having to do laundry to dress in something other than sweatpants. (should I add that to my resume??) Anyways I figured I would share my fool-proof ways to land a job.

1. As previously stated, wear something other than sweatpants to apply for jobs.

sweatpants
2. Have AT LEAST 3 years of experience in every field of work because apparently 3 years is the point when you are hirable (not a word, making it a word)

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3. Smile through the pain of the store manager saying that they will call you if you fit. And they never call.

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4. Think of back up plans to having a job. For instance: Could I make it as a stripper? (The answer is a hard no.)

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5. Question how much longer you can live off the money your parents gave you.

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6. Desperately hand out your resume to passer-bys. Who knows, maybe one will be a manager with a position to fill.

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7. Debate going back to the summer job you had last year.

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8. Cry.

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9. Nap.

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10. Repeat.

And yes. The solution to all of my problems is nap. Sue me.

*all of this information is irrelevant because I still haven’t been able to get a job.

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