New Years Eve

New Years Eve

Happy Champagne Day everyone! In honor of the last day of 2014 I figured I would share my feelings on NYE and its pros and cons. So before I jump into that I should mention that I have had my fair share of NYE celebrations both good and bad, BUT nevertheless I still love it and am pumped for tonight! So without further ado here are my pros and cons of New Year’s Eve:
pro: you can drink as much as you want and no one will judge you
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con: drinks at bars are super overpriced
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pro: kissin’ @ midnight
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con: otherwise known as “reality” – who are you going to kiss?
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**I am Ian
pro: dressin’ for a runway
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con: standing in a line for the bar and freezing
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pro: popping the bubbly
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con: you are drunk, so it will inevitably go everywhere
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pro: telling everyone “see you next year” and finding it hilarious

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con: you are the only one who finds that joke funny

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pro: not getting a hang over that you expect

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con: THAT NEVER HAPPENS

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Well on that note, stay safe and have fun this New Year’s Eve!
This has been an amazing year filled with great experiences and awesome friends. this blog has blossomed into something I could have never expected and I hope to bring bigger and better things to the table in 2015!
See you next year!
-Brittany

Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone! I know that today brings a lot of family interacting, you get to see all the people you only see once a year at these holiday gatherings… So I figured while I am sitting in the lull between opening gifts and going to see family I would share a few of my ways to survive Christmas Day.

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1. What to do if you receive a gift from someone you didn’t buy something for:
Explain how poor you are, because who needs dignity. (e.g. “Sam, I am sorry but I have no job and I am a student, be happy you arn’t receiving ramen noodles or half used stamp cards, merry Christmas!”)

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2. When you are asked if you are in a
relationship:
Cry and say your significant other is too busy doing charity work to be with you over the holidays. Or if you are more adventurous, make up different stories for John Doe every time you are asked about him.

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3. Photos:
The most dreaded part of Christmas morning… This is for you dad! When you wake up and you look like shit and all your family members want to do is snap photos of you, the solution is simple. Get your hand right up to the camera and do some kind of symbol, that way the camera focuses on your hand and not your face. ~problem solved~

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4. Weird family members:
Let’s be real here, everyone thinks their family is crazy, so when you encounter said family members, you can run away or you can man up and be crazier then them. E.g. I have a few crazy relatives (just a few) and when interacting with them, the goal is to be more annoying and ostentatious then they are.

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5. Post turkey nap:
My philosophy is to have a space that is mine, and if you defend it right you will have the perfect place to nap/ escape #4 when things get out of hand. E.g. When I arrive at my grandma’s house, I immediately claim a couch in her basement as my own, fortunately, my only competitors are under the age of 7, so they arnt hard to defend from.

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6. Receiving ill-fitting clothing:
I know this may seem like it is not a big deal, and maybe it is just me but I swear it is tradition that I receive at least one piece of clothing a year that is super tight, made for an 80-year-old or made waaaay too big. The solution to this is easy, it is sometimes hard, but you just have to accept these with an open heart. Try to remember that your family cares about you and this was not done to spite you, but keep your eyes on that gift receipt because that is your ticket to happiness. You’re welcome.

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So on that note, may the odds be ever in your favour!

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Sugar Cookies

Sugar Cookies

So this week on “Cooking with Brittany” we are making sugar cookies! And even though that isn’t an official segment, it may happen sooner or later. Any hoo, it is christmas in two days so I figured I should share some Christmassy things I have been doing:
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Screen Shot 2014-12-23 at 10.29.54 PM

And on that note let the Christmas baking commence! You can listen to my Christmas playlist here:

Brittany’s Sugar Cookies
– this recipe worked perfect for cutouts, they are amazing!
– it makes 6-7 dozen cookies depending on cookie cutter size!

For the Cookies:
– 1 1/2 cups unsalted butter, softened ( I only had a cups so I substituted 1/2 cup for salted butter, vote against butter discrimination!)
– 2 cups granulated sugar
– 4 eggs
– 1 1/2 teaspoons of vanilla
– 5 cups all-purpose flour (you need more for rolling too)
– 2 teaspoons of baking powder
– 1 teaspoon salt

For the frosting:
– 2 cups powdered sugar
– 2-4 tablespoon milk
– 1 tablespoon honey
– 1 teaspoon vanilla
– food colouring

1. In a bowl, cream together sugar and butter. Mix in eggs and vanilla extract until well-combined.
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2. In a separate bowl whisk together the remainder of the cookie ingredients. Add dry ingredients to wet in batched until combined.
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3. Divide dough into quarters, form into discs, and wrap in plastic wrap and chill for at least 2 hours.
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4. Preheat oven to 400°.
5. Remove one quarter from fridge and roll out on floured surface until dough is 1/8″-1/4″ thick.
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6. Cut with cookie cutters and bake on an ungreased cookie sheet for 6-8 minutes, watching closely. The cookies are done when the bottoms are just barely golden brown. Let cool completely on wire racks before frosting. Make sure cookie sheets are cool to touch before placing more cookie dough on them.
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A picture of my little elf:
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7. For frosting, combine sugar, two tablespoons milk, and honey, adding more milk until the frosting has reached your desired consistency. I went with a thicker consistency to be able to pipe the icing from plastic bags onto the cookies.If looking to add sprinkles, add before the frosting drys.
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Enjoy!
P.S. these actually turned out amazing, and I swear made 70 cookies.

Why My Dog Is Trying To Kill Me

Why My Dog Is Trying To Kill Me

First of all, lets get one thing straight: since I have moved out my home, my room has been turned into a giant dog house. Great. It currently serves as Molly’s perch to sleep all day and bark at any living thing that passes the window (I didn’t say she was a smart dog). So of course when I come home she gets a bit miffed that some stranger is in her bed. So now that I have moved home for Christmas break it has become clear my dog is trying to kill me, here’s why:
Unlike most dogs, Molly is the most obnoxious sleeper… she reminds me of this baby, who hates sleep and wants to see it die.
http://www.thisblewmymind.com/mom-tries-to-nap-with-baby-what-the-baby-does-to-her-is-too-funny/#_
I have been for 6 days now, and every night she does the same thing, lays her 50lb body on or RIGHT NEXT to me so that I am crammed to the edge of the bed and restrained from further movements. From here I usually go to my sister’s room and use her bed, not even an hour goes by before Molly realizes I have left and moves to my new sleeping spot to do the same thing over again. This has become the routine every night since I have been home. Of course, you may think that this is just because she loves me and wants to cuddle. I might believe if I didn’t wake up in the night from the heavy weight champion that weighs the equivalent of a bag of bricks putting her entire mass on my vital organs, but I can’t turn a blind eye to the truth here. She is clearly trying to kill me. She even anticipates the nights activities by messing up the freshly made bed and awaiting my return to wag her tail proudly at the mess she made.
Next, death comes to all things I have ever touched. This includes a Santa hat which is now fluff-less, a piece of paper towel I threw out after wiping her feet and a gift-card holding teddy bear, which is now eye- and limb-less. So she is clearly an animal (har har). Don’t worry dawg, I am picking up the message you are laying down: that you clearly want to destroy all that is good in the world.
Lastly, and probably the strongest evidence, is the side-eye she gives me, it is belittling, scary and hurtful. This side-eye is so on point that it makes me feel like Ariana Grande cowering to a pair of artificial wings. (see picture) It is a look that screams “I hate you” or maybe just “give me treats” , who knows with this crazy beast.
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I swear she’s obsessed with me.
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On the next edition of “My Crazy Dog”: Is she trained too well?

Weekly Favourites

Weekly Favourites

FUNNY:

for all of you New Girl fans…

Babies who can’t even.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/hannahjewell/renaissance-babies-who-cant-even

FOOD:

made these this week, they are amazing.

http://www.pipandebby.com/pip-ebby/2011/11/14/hot-cocoa-cookies.html

and had this last night, to die for.

http://www.yummyhealthyeasy.com/2014/10/pizza-dip.html

DIY:

super easy gift idea that I made for a friend:

http://www.livingwellspendingless.com/2014/02/10/sharpie-mug/

also this because I have lots of empty candles to glitter-ize:

http://library.rusticescentuals.com/how-to-make-glitter-jars/

(also for this I used mod podge instead of floor finish and it works great!)

LIFE:

I’m considering it…

http://www.buzzfeed.com/augustafalletta/crucial-things-to-consider-before-you-cut-bangs

I ❤ tea.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/ahmedaliakbar/gifs-that-are-pretty-much-porn-to-tea-lovers#.kjXy1pZak

She’s perfect ❤

http://www.buzzfeed.com/lyapalater/times-jennifer-lawrence-was-the-girl-you-wanted-to-be-in

Oh and this too:

http://www.rookiemag.com/2013/06/sunday-comic-mad-problems-2/

P.S. my favorite thing of my week: being reunited with my dog

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Christmas Break

Christmas Break

Peace out first semester!
As I wrap up this semester I have some really mixed feelings. Of course I am happy to be through the hell that was exams, essays, and the stress-packed surroundings, however I am not sure I am quite ready for the stress of the holidays. Here are some of my scenarios that happen every year at holiday functions:
For example, I am going straight to a family Christmas party from school, so I have to decide if I am ready for conversations that look like this:
How is school? -Very good!
What program are you in? -popular culture
What is THAT? *said with distaste -its the study of culture, consumption, media, and film
Well that sounds…. interesting. What are you going to do with that? -mumbling incoherently because I’m over this conversation
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And now I look like this:
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Next we have Christmas Day:
Which is strictly made up of that one creepy uncle asking if you asked for underwear for Christmas. (don’t worry, he’s not a blood relative)
The grandparents who ask about your relationship status: none existent.
– your job status: none existent.
– your goals: none existent.
The screaming children who are so over this Christmas crap and just want a nap.
My immediate family who is over being cramped in a tight space with each other all day.
Lastly, there is I. Who was forced awake at 6 am to open gifts, shuttled from house to house by my parents and sneaking in a secret nap in my grandma’s basement while everyone watches some sports game on TV.

Last is New Years but its more like Nerqw Yeasser (because I can’t type when I’m drunk, HA HA HA classic comedy.) Most years look a bit like this:
3 hours to midnight:
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2 hours to midnight:
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1 hour till midnight:
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midnight:
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yafeelme?

Dear Santa

Dear Santa

Why hello there old man, I figured I would write to you as an attempt to clear the slate in light of the holiday season, no I wont asked for gifts (you already know what I want), but I felt I should own up to some naughty things I did this year.
I’ll start with the most recent, I have practically taken over my sister’s Netflix because I don’t want to pay for my own, however as her younger sister I feel like it’s her duty to support me. (through every season finale)
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(via my sisters facebook)
On the topic of family, my dad turned 51 this year and I forgot to get him a card, so I photoshopped (poorly) the picture I took of him last year and re-purposed it for this year.
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I may have drank too much santa… but that is only because is the cheapest stress reliever available, you know how it is, amiright? I mean, I guess some nights I could have just had one or two, but what the fun in that?!
Which leads into part 2: I may have made some bad decisions why drinking. for example, riding home from the bar in a grocery cart, photobombing people, and thinking that sleeping with my loaf of bread is a god idea.
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I mean I have have told a few poorly timed Holocaust jokes, or made sarcastic comments to one of my roommates till it got a little too real, BUT WHO DOESN’T? Seeing as most of my material comes from Bo Burnham and Louis C.K. can ya really blame me?
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I guess I could have worked a little harder to keep my life in order, ya know do my laundry, homework, keep in contact with friends and family, etc. I’ll try harder next year I promise.
*no picture, because I don’t want proof of my lows*
I hope that despite all that , and whatever mischief I get into in the next few weeks you’ll still consider me for your nice list.
P.S. I promise I will not call my brother dumb as much
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Sincerely, Brittany